Hell On The Heart
by purplepagoda
Summary: Spoilers for season 4. Dr. Cooper gets Dr. O'Hara to open up, prompting a breakdown, and revelations. She sheds tears, about the way she's getting the thing she wanted most, at a cost. And, this one is enough to bring the whole world down around her.
1. Unlikely Companion

He looks at her, across the table. It's not his place, she's not the sharing kind, at least, not with him. Jackie is her best friend, and yet, she's not here. He is, instead, because she asked him to be. She sips from her glass.

She tries her hardest, to keep it together, for appearances, and for her unborn child. She takes a deep breath, clears her throat, and refocuses. She stares at his tie, ignoring eye contact. She feels his eyes boring holes through her. She puts the glass down, and circles the rim, with her finger.

"Why am I here?"

She looks up, "Because you wanted to be."

"You asked."

"I wasn't serious," she reveals.

"Then why did you let me tag along? Why didn't you ask Jackie?"

"I couldn't."

"Why? She always makes time for you."

"It's complicated."

"Try me."

"She and I, are in very different places in our lives, right now. My family is coming together, and hers is falling apart. I..."

"You've always been in different places. What's your point?"

"I just, I don't think that she's the person I should be sharing this with."

"You should be sharing it with your baby daddy, but he isn't here."

"Clearly, because I have a child who likes to play doctor here with me, instead."

"Thank you, I really appreciate that."

"Thank you, for coming."

"Can I make an observation?"

"You can, but they are rarely accurate, so by all means, amuse me."

"You're hiding something. Something of epic proportions."

"And, just what makes you think that?"

"You don't strike me as someone who doesn't know who her baby's father is."

"Does it matter?"

"You do know, don't you?"

"Maybe, I do."

"How many possibilities are there?"

"A few," she lies.

"You are telling me that you slept with more than one, more than two men, in such a short time span, that you don't know which one of them is the father of your child?"

She purses her lips, struggling with whether to maintain the charade, or reveal her hand. He doesn't give her a chance to answer, "Of course not."

"You do not know anything about what I do, or who I do."

"And, I am not sure that it was an accident, either."

"What are you talking about?"

"At your age, an accidental pregnancy, that's a little bit unlikely, don't you think?"

"Unlikely, maybe, impossible, no."

"You wanted a child."

"I have never said that," she argues.

"You are great with them, even though you pretend to be irritated by them. You act as if you don't like them, but... you're not as cold as you would like people to think."

"Where is all of this wisdom of yours coming from?"

"I am a people watcher. I have been watching you, for..."

She cuts him off, "You are being slightly on the creepy side."

"The point is, I have known you for a while."

"And?"

"I know more about you, than you would like me to."

"That doesn't mean that you know everything about me."

"You refuse to celebrate your birthday, or even mention it, in fear of celebrating it alone."

"That is not true."

"You befriended Jackie, because you saw something broken in her, and you like to fix things, you like to fix people."

"I do not," she argues.

"You are a surgeon, psychology says that you do."

"You don't know me."

"You have all the money you could ever need, but you're not happy, because you have never been able to have what other people do."

"I have never pretended to be like other people. Unlike you, I do not have a need to please people."

"Eleanor, it's just the two of us, here. Tell me the truth."

"First of all, do not call me Eleanor."

"Oh, that's another thing, you have always hated your name. You think that it fits an eighty year old woman, not you."

"You are no peach, yourself, you know that."

"Just tell me, why didn't you ask Jackie to come today?"

"I don't want to break her heart."

"Why would you think that you're going to break her heart? It's like you're cutting her loose, just before you'll need her friendship the most."

"I just... she has enough on her plate. I do not to add anything else."

He stares at her, in silence. She stares at her plate, avoiding eye contact. He still reads her face, like a book. He exhales.

"I get it," he admits.

"Get what?"

"It all makes sense now. Everything."

"What are you talking about?"

"She's just getting her shit together, and you don't want to tell her the truth, because it would put her right back at square one."

"I do not know what you're talking about."

"Tell me that I'm not right."

"I don't know what you're thinking, so I can't say that."

"That is why you won't say who..."

She looks up at him, as if she's ready to stab him. She cuts him off, "Just stop! I don't want to talk about this, anymore."

"Because I'm right?"

"Because it is a stupid conversation."

"Is it?"

"Yes, now drop it."

"One more question."

"What?"


	2. Reason For The Fall

"Are you going to tell her? Or are you going to let her find out on her own?"

"Tell her what?"

"That you had an affair with her husband, and now you're having his baby?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"Kevin is the father, isn't he?"

"My baby doesn't have a father."

"You're not going to tell him, because you don't want to share."

"Coop, you don't know what you're talking about."

"Jackie knows you, she'll figure it out. You should just tell her."

He expects her to deny, or dispute this. Instead, she starts to cry. She pulls the napkin out of her lap, and pats her eyes, as the tears come.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry. I know, you're pregnant, and emotional, and I shouldn't interrogate you. I'm sorry."

She shakes her head, and puts the napkin on the table. She looks at him, with tears in her eyes, and a wrinkled forehead, as she starts into her ugly cry.

"I was out of line, I'm sorry."

She takes a deep breath, and gets a sip of water. She shakes her head.

"It's not fair," she tells him.

"What do you mean?"

"She had an affair, for years, with no consequence."

"Yeah, but now shit is hitting the fan."

"And, it's all my fault."

"No," he shakes his head, "It's not. You had nothing to do with it."

"I had everything to do with it. I am the one who enabled her addiction, I am the one who helped her lead a double life, I kept the fact that she was screwing Eddie to myself."

"She is responsible for her own shit," he reminds her.

"Yes, but I was the straw that broke the camels back."

"What are you talking about?"

"You were right, I fucked Jackie's husband."

"What? I was just taking a stab in the dark."

"Well, you hit the nail on the head."

"You slept with Kevin?"

"Yes."

"Things happen, people get caught up in the moment, it's understandable."

"No, it's not. I am not that kind of person. I am not a home wrecker. I tore a family apart."

"That situation is not your fault, it would have happened, either way."

"Maybe, but it doesn't really matter."

"You must be pretty unlucky. You sleep with someone once, and get knocked up? And at your age, I've never known anyone to be that fertile."

"It wasn't just once," she admits.

"Twice?"

"More times than I can count."

"How long? A couple of weeks, a month?"

"Six, no, that's not right. Eight," she shakes her head, doing the math in her head, "Close to a year," she realizes.

He gives her a deer in the headlights look.

"You're just humoring me, right? You're telling me a story, and making me feel better?"

"No," she replies dryly, "Why would I do that."

"You are being serious."

She simply nods.

"So it's his?"

"Yes," she confirms.

"Are you going to tell him?"

"No, never."

"Are you going to tell Jackie?"

"Nope."

"You should. You should tell them both."

"Why? So I can have my child ripped away from me, too?"

"Secrets eat people, alive."

"Coop, I can't tell anyone. You can't tell anyone, ever, ok? Do you understand? You have to promise me that you won't tell a soul."

"I won't," he swears.

"Good, now can we talk about something else?"

"Why don't you want to tell her?"

"Have you ever been on Jackie's bad side?"

"It's not so bad."

"I am her best friend, her only friend, really. I am the reason that her marriage fell apart. I am the reason that she is fighting for her kids. I am responsible for everything. I am supposed to be her best friend, and I betrayed her trust. I slept with her husband, soon-to-be-ex-husband. And, I am now carrying his child. I do not have a death wish, so I'm not going to tell her.

"What about him?"

"Who? Kevin? We ended things, months ago."

"He did, or you did?"

"Does it matter?"

"I wasn't talking about Kevin, anyway."

"Who were you referring to?"

"The baby. Are you going to tell your son the truth?"

"Maybe one day, when he's about thirty, and I have spent my last penny on his therapy, maybe then, I will tell him."

"It's not good to start a life, with a lie."

"It's all I've got."

"Are you afraid that it's not good enough?"

"Only, every day."

_She looks at the clock. She rolls over, and looks at the face of the man, in her bed. He smiles at her._

_"What?" he questions._

_"You should go."_

_"I've got time."_

_"I do not."_

_"Can't I just stay, a little while, longer?"_

_"No. You should go."_

_"Why are you trying to rush me out of here?"_

_"I don't think that we should do this, anymore. This was a horrible idea. I can't do this anymore. I can't keep lying to Jackie. She's my best friend. I can't believe that I did this to her. It's time for you to go home. Go home, to your wife, to your girls. Go home to your family. I'll be fine."_

_"What about us?"_

_"Hell, Kevin, there is never going to be an us. This is... not going to turn into anything. It's just sex."_

_"I don't believe that, not even for a second."_

_"Go," she begs._


End file.
